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Me, I would write my biography! Wait, let me rephrase that!

24 Mar

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ghostwriter.”

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Early Monday morning I woke up and before going back to sleep I reached for my I-Pad to check the day’s prompt. I quickly had some ideas in mind but I went back to sleep. I am glad I waited because later on in the night I read this article which I will mention soon. But I will first write what I had planned at the beginning:

‘If I was able to choose anyone I wanted to write my biography, I would want it to be me. Of course, it would have to be me. I have always wanted to be a writer.  Not to mention a ghostwriter who does ghost work is going to want to take all of the ghost profits. Ha!!

But seriously, it is my life experience. I have first-hand memories of every little detail, good or bad. Why would I want someone else to profit from all my struggles? Learn from them, yes. But not an uninterested ghostwriter, who is just getting by, making money off my story till his own story gets published.’

That was what I had in mind. Then I read an article on Facebook about how Jesus’ resurrection was written by first-hand witnesses. It goes on to say that some claim the decades between witnessing the resurrection and putting it in writing makes it unreliable. The article challenges that claim by mentioning how reporters who interviewed World War 2 survivors were asking these people who lived the events to recall what happened 70 years after the fact. Now I know nobody is going to deny these interviewees correctly remember every last detail.

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I am not comparing my life to the life of Jesus; That would be ludicrous. But stories of how Jesus Christ rose from the grave and showed himself to many afterwards came from those who witnessed these historical events. But more than that, they were his friends that spread much of the accounts.

So in that way I think it would be nice to have some really close friends, who were there, to write my biography. Make it a family member, like my brother, who knows me better than anybody and that would be awesome. I would say my grandmother knows me best. But it has to be someone who tells my story way after I am gone. Ha!!

I will add that my revised ideas after reading the article come off a lot more modest! Ha!

Copyright (C) Dustin Poteet 2015

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Looking Off The Edge of Heaven: And Jumping! The Story of how I went to Heaven and was sent back for a time.

22 Mar

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Whoa!.”

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I stood on the edge looking down on much of the universe. The parts I can remember are missing some very glorious and magnificent details. If I remembered too much my life would be a living Hell. I am talking about my stay in Heaven. It may have been 20 years or 200, but definitely a long residency. I will come back to this. To really understand I must start at my Earthly beginning.

I was about 7 years old. It was bedtime so I got into bed. I shared a large bed with my brother, being we were both young and space was limited in our home. I closed my eyes, but I also squinted them this time. A couple of hours instantly sped forward. So I tried to work those same eyelid muscles in an opposite way to move time backwards. It did not work. So I squinted my eyes to speed forward in time. In a single moment it was morning time. I was astounded. I had the ability to time-travel. But I shrugged it off. I ate, got dressed, and lived out the day of school including homework, chores, and following my older and bigger brother around.

That night I did not even attempt anything similar to the night before. I didn’t even give it any thought. In fact two or three nights went by. On the fourth night I was reminded when I accidentally or subconsciously flexed my eye muscles. This time I traveled backwards In time. But since I started somewhere about 1 A.M. I went back to the start of my rest roughly 10 or 15 minutes into stretching out and relaxing, my brother already dreaming.

The next night I went farther and faster forward, and each following night, further and further back fine tuning the skills of how quick and how far in either direction I cared to go. To my recollection I went as far back as a few years but only stayed for 3 or 4 minutes just to marvel. Sadly this ability faded. And what was worse was the reaction I got from a brother who thought I was just being imaginative when I asked if he noticed my absence. His response assured me there was no reason to tell my parents. If I remember right, he told them in a joking manor but I quickly denied it and played into their belief I was imagining something off a movie or book. Also spending any more time explaining was not worth the cold eggs I would be eating so I ate and got ready for the day.

I revisited this ability once or twice throughout the next couple of years but with no real seriousness as to have great tales of adventure. In fact it was not till I was a preteen that I had any experience beyond the normal realm of math, science, fistfights, and being shy towards girls. Life was pretty average. I wrapped up every year of Elementary School; My summer activities included football camp, mowing lawns for spending money, Nintendo and Sega video games and working up the nerve to call my first crush on the phone.

My brother and I moved in with our mom in the next town over. Switching schools had created its own list of social and emotional problems. Add that to the pressure of beginning middle-school and going from a small town school to a bigger city school and I was struggling and very unhappy. My mother worked hard and we had limited finances but that had always been the norm. Though losing any allowance or any other way of earning spending money was rough.

I had this dream one night in a bedroom to which I was just getting adjusted. I slept in my own bed now as me and my brother were quite grown up now. But we still shared the same room. I dreamt of the inside of a building. It was a place I had never been, I was positive. But only after what happened did I have any reason to think anything of a simple dream. The next day I had a moment of childish hope and looked up the number of a private school in the phone book. It was my best effort to deal with not being accepted in my current situation. It was very unlikely due to my mom seeking decent work, struggling to pay the rent, and worrying every night about how to feed us. But miracles happen. I don’t know how I managed it. Obviously GOD had bigger plans for my life and pitched a little help my way.

My my mother was the type to play into our childhood fantasies and pacify us by participating in our ideas. More than likely she knew the costs of a private school were impossible to pay. But, to give me some momentary joy she called the number I provided. Crazy enough, the school was private, yet small(like I grew up in) and not as expensive as most(though still a little much). So we set up a time to visit.

I was excited but still kept reality in the back of my mind especially hearing those dream killing words that every kid learns means no:

‘We’ll go look at it and then We’ll See!’, she had the nerve to say!

We will see, maybe, could be, or any combination of those coming out of the mouth of an adult always mean no. So naturally what I heard in my ears was:

‘NO! I am sorry son. I love you enough to give you some false hope. But being the loving caring provider I       am and wanting to instill in you the ability to dream and the American right to work towards those dreams we are going to keep this act (this charade) going for awhile.’

We showed up at the scheduled time. The building was modest from the outside. But when I walked through the front door, it was like being hit by a ton of bricks. It was the place, THE PLACE, I had dreamed about. From the way there was two floors, to how many rooms, right down to the 2 staircases. It was the same walls, the same look inside each room. The ceiling and the floors were an exact match to what I saw in my dream. Okay, in my dream everything was black and white.

To make a long story short, I got to attend this school. Attempting to tell my mother the shocking coincidence yet again went without success. Her mind was on bills, and GOD love her for giving me such an opportunity. How much love GOD had for me to make the impossible happen and so did she.

Living in this new town and dealing with major life changes like hormones, salvation and baptism, learning from a school curriculum that was 1 1/2 years more advanced than public school, and increasing poverty or my sensitivity to poverty was a feat in itself. The next few years got more interesting than just the start of a teenager’s journey. Even time-travel was nothing in compare. I went places, saw things, and did things that most people get to just choose one from. But these adventures were beyond time and experience.

I was a fighter-pilot, a soldier, a lover, a fighter, a family man, and yes I went to Heaven! All of this I did in the span between age 12 and 14. Like living lives within this life, if you will.

I could flood the next hundred chapters with details of heroism, Air-Force Academy, marriage, kids, every job in the book, saving lives, leading church services, running for offices, and so much more. But I will get directly to the topic that has my mind and my stomach in knots at times to this very day.

I went to Heaven. I saw Jesus. I experienced the joy of finally reaching the pinnacle of Christian existence. I was seeing with my very eyes the promises of the Holy Bible. It was bliss. Pure joy. Happiness. Everything you could imagine and more. I can’t tell you everything because I can’t remember everything. To remember would certainly be Hell. In fact, I do not completely believe in my mind. Also, a way of protecting my fragile balance. Imagine going from years, decades, centuries of living in perfect paradise and being sent back to a sinful realm of hate, let-downs, failure, pain and misery, and constant waiting to see this perfect world again. If I tell myself it never happened, it would be the worse lie one could tell. To admit it is real means I am not in a place I want to be so badly.

However, the reason I am here is fuzzy concerning the details. But one picture is clear.

I was soaking up the warm rays of Heaven. Rays of GOD’s love. No need for sunlight.

Suddenly, I stood right at the gates. I looked off the edge towards and saw the universe. It is a beautiful sight when referring to GOD’s great skill. But still, it was nothing in comparison to Heaven. Yet, I was awed. I had this feeling I was going to have to come back. Jesus spoke to me in a manner like a brother wanting to carry me home but also realizing the reality of the duty that lies ahead. He said:

‘You must go back. Your job is not yet done. I can not answer your questions about how long you will have to go back, what your exact purpose will be, or even how many more lifetimes you will have to live till you return. But be sure of this my loved one, you will be coming back and it will be for forever. I understand what you are going through. I have been to Earth myself. There is not a bitter trial you have faced yet that I did not taste on the cross. You have done well, my good servant. I have one more job for you…I can tell you this: you must tell everyone you meet that Heaven does exist. Do not worry about telling them about me. Those who receive this truth will know from whom it came. But tell it! Tell everything you can. Granted when you get back, you will have no recollection of many of these details. I would not leave you in that kind of burden. GO!!’

I hesitated, which may be a fault, just long enough to take one last look at my Lord and Saviour till i return.

‘I will accomplish it. I am sorry for the hesitation. I just wanted to say you can trust me and I love You!’, I told Him.

He responded, ‘I know. Don’t fret. (As he placed His hand on my shoulder) I love you too!’

I returned to my childhood house, a fourteen year old, and continue to live out my life to this day. I am 31 years old. I have done many more things. I have seen many more places. I have a lot of questions just like I am sure you do. But one thing I figured out, and I am sure Jesus knew it too; Obviously, I will tell everyone Heaven exists and is the place GOD’s love for all of us comes from. But, whether or not it is disobeying an order there is one thing I must do while I am here (Jesus knew my heart well enough to know i would and it was probably His way of being modest and not me disobeying). I must tell people how great and wonderful Jesus is. He took our sins unto Himself so we could be presented to GOD as a perfect gift. He Himself is in GOD and GOD in Him. Accept His love and let’s all go there…This time for all eternity! Take a leap of faith. Remember, Jesus jumped! He was living in Heaven and came to Earth and will again to come for us.

Places. Been but never Seen. Daily Prompt:Places

17 Mar

I want to talk about the heart, my heart, your heart. I might find it hard to mention ‘our heart’. Maybe that is why we struggle in a society set on divisiveness on every single subject that arises; We have no concern for the collective heart that binds us all together. For Christians like myself, that is GOD(GOD THE FATHER, GOD THE SON(Jesus), GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT). I will stop at that as not to begin a discussion of beliefs, of which I am very opinionated, and will likely talk about that in the future.

GOD has shown us great things. Oceans, Purple Mountains, Space, Organisms, Feats of Strength. But I have experienced things inside my heart both greater and worse than anything I have ever seen. Inside my heart I have felt peace, calmer than a slow stream. I have experienced love, extreme hate, shame for that hate, a feeling that lacks words only slightly described by the word euphoria(That place where you feel not only GOD’s love but HIS wisdom that cannot be described in words as well as perfect spirit. It is a perfect wisdom where I understood everything that GOD would allow, everything on Earth and Much of Space simultaneously. Now understanding that with my mind is something I do not have the gift of right now), and sadly pain & grief.

I once felt very little, if not nothing, in my heart. On September 11 2011 I felt great anger and hate for a clan of heathens that would destroy thousands in a day. Sometime around 2004 I experienced the beginning and eventually the duration of what was not a nervous breakdown but a nervous awakening. At the age of 11 I suffered a tragedy so horrible that I rarely speak of it. Nonetheless, I spent the next 8 or 9 years emotionally cut-off. If you can imagine, in 2004, I began to feel emotion again. I suddenly had a decade of emotions hit my heart(and mind, body) at once. 9 years of fantastic love, all at once. 9 years of accomplishment, all at once. And of course, 9 years of pain, sorrow, guilt, and grief……..ALL AT ONCE. Every sin that I had on my account stuck into me like a unevenly serrated knife gouging out every bit of peace and comfort. I cried, I screamed silent, I self-mutilated because the physical pain of cutting was better than the spiritual and physiological agony. But you know what? GOD heard my cries and suddenly I felt an eternity, a never-ending flood of HIS love…ALL AT ONCE! Which takes me to a great place. Heaven. I will get to ‘see it’ some day!! Hopefully, since eternity is everlasting, I will get to fellowship with you all inside the Pearly Gates, More than once!!

Copyright (C) Dustin Poteet 2015

Poem: Untitled

16 Mar

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Lord I come on bended knee
YOU are the Only One between the evil and me
I am depressed instantly when I awake
This must be all a big mistake

I lay in my bed early in the morn’
My back is broke, my heart is torn
My eyes are swollen
This isn’t norm

I regret that somehow I awaken
How can you dare ask me if I want eggs and bacon?
Can’t you see I’m choking, my legs are shakin’

I walk in to my room and take a bow
Lord, how much of this will you allow?

I walk outside it’s getting cold
I love the work but this battle is getting old
This weight on my shoulders has me feeling old

It’s a jungle so I zip up my overcoat
My type of armor along with my beard
It’s my way of dealing with the shell-shock
It’s far from All She Wrote
If I could I’m afraid I’d cut my own throat
Since its a sin, I won’t
It wouldn’t help even if it was not a sin
With my luck I’d come back to life at the start
And have to deal with this misery all over again

I reach up out of the fire
And yell Your Holy Name
I come out of it unsinged
Nothing touched me but the shame
I look to Heaven, cause that’s my aim

Copyright (C) Dustin Poteet 2015

Do you get in a bad way sometimes? I do. But we will get through it!!

16 Mar

imageHell is not being in a fiery furnace of helpless torture, especially when you belong there. Hell is being right here on Earth. Sure GOD blesses me with great things but at the same time bad happens. I am constantly torn between two worlds Earth and Heaven. I am not from here, in no way comfortable here. At the same time it is not yet my time to cross over to Heaven. Therefore I am tortured everyday. My mind and body struggle to conform to social norms and secular habits. All of this while my spirit, The Holy Spirit, says ‘No! Wrong way come back this way. ‘
Now I am not saying anything against GOD. I love HIM and HIS Son Jesus. In fact I believe so much in the fact that GOD sent HIS only child(only child, can you imagine?) to die on the cross for those who believe, confess, and repent. I just want to, and need to be, in Heaven with my Lord Who loved me enough to die on the cross. It was even so bad that Jesus, being GOD HIMSELF and knowing fully in His mind the truth that Heaven and GOD’s love exists, yelled to His FATHER Why have YOU forsaken me? I am just as sure but sometimes that empty, hopeless feeling comes over me.
Now I will push ahead in the hope for the future GOD has prepared for us and I look forward to eternal fellowship with all who make it(I hope and pray that is all of you). I just get weak sometimes. But my weakness is GOD’s strength!

Copyright (C) Dustin Poteet 2015

Face-Down, Face-Up: Just Face It

29 Mar

Some one once said they found success the hard way. Some call this pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. But the way my life goes, I expect If I looked down my boots would be missing. And if that wasn’t enough I would  probably hang myself with the strings. Of course I would never take my life. But, I mean my worst enemy in life is usually me.

Like Jim Carey in ‘Liar-Liar I could attempt to kick my own butt, that is essentially what I am doing now. But this didn’t help him, and never helps me. The truth inevitably saves us all. But the truth is hard to swallow.

It is easier to tell ourselves everything is going to work out than except the fact life never turns out right. But even this is a lie. the truth is everything is going to be great but not into we dig in and get dirty. Like your mom used to do GOD will throw all of the stained clothes in the wash. I fear that one or two socks will go missing when the dry-cycle is over. That is essentially what these trying times are, they are a method of drying us out. Anyone who has ever taken to alcohol knows the importance of drying out. We would also never reach for the Living waters JESUS spoke of at the well.

Among other areas, I am supposed to be part Irish, part Cherokee Indian. I am also Black Dutch, oddly enough I do not believe in ‘going Dutch’ by splitting the check on a date. Just as odd is how I seemed to have inherited all of the Irish blood. I am pale. I have a fighting-temper, and I always end up face down in the mud. Though, I never drink.

I have the bad habit of trying to do things my own way, always falling down. No how many times this happens each day starts with me climbing up preparing to leap and completely expecting to fly this time. I never do. I get burned every time; at least I inherited some of the Cherokee. My face should be red with shame, but I have become numb to ridicule.

I feel just like this guy I saw on Shark Tank. He claimed that he could make gold out of ocean water by building some type of hurricane-inducing machine. Just like the doodled drawing he presented, I rarely prepare my presentation as I should.  It is an insane idea but I would not be surprised if It one day worked, his idea not mine. The man who built the atomic bomb was surely subjected to laughter not his own. This explosive invention was not the best thing for mankind and a gold machine would be the same. We are already bent on fleshly riches, me being the leader of the pack.

I am not a greedy person, but when I think about just finding love and leaving the riches, the hard truth arises once again. I am afraid in this day and age no one would want to love someone completely broke, bearing no financial or social security. No one wants a man on social-security, right? Maybe the truth is I am afraid to love someone just for who they are and that the attempt to fight the dry-out has left my personality shallow.

Either way I will be sure to jump back into the fire tomorrow. I apologize how I tend to spill my life story every time I write, right?

Copyright  © Dustin Poteet

Open Book: Shut Case (Poem)

29 Mar

anatomical heartForgive me, this poem is stretched out and the lines are rarely separated. I have a general idea I was going for that I am not sure I expressed in the proper literary sense, but separate stanzas did not make sense.

 

The book opens

It is old but the pages are not worn

The creases are torn

The words are in a state of angst waiting to get off the page

But they are set, no chance of being edited

The story has a strong plot built out of stone.

The pages are covered in blood

It seems to be from the middle of the book, but who knows where the transfer came from

But it is clear it stains all of the pages but does not cover every book in the library

The material gently pulls you in, sometimes it snatches your soul

But you did not choose this book on your trip

It was not your idea to go.

Some person claims there is a sequel, this I will not discuss

But if the Words are not enough

You are a prisoner of lust

The adventure rolls up and down

But the pages are aligned

 

If you have not figured out

I am not talking about just a book

Art is a reflection of life

If I had to choose this book just from the cover

Who knows what I would choose

Like a long novel

It seems like too much trouble

But think!

Haven’t you ever gone ahead and read a book

Finding it was the best thing ever

You did not care how you came to read it

Just the experience and final outcome

The book is so long, It feels I will never reach the end

But I am sure the END is worth it

The blood-stained cover is calling me again

Join me in the read!

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Copyright  © Dustin Poteet